i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
