ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
