I cockslap morals
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
