You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
