He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
