i permit you to call me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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