I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
