Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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