At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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