And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just threw up on my dentist
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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