I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
