Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
