i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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