just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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