i don't like sucking hair
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
