I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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