I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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