google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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