Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
