Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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