Pregnant stripper...not hot.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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