I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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