i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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