i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
