just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we made out on top of his cat.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
