a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
