Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
