covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
this just has baby written all over it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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