Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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