Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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