That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize