do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
