I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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