areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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