sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
