I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
