I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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