I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
