I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
