Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
