put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
