First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
