shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
