he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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