ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
