Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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