I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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