For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
