White coat. Heels.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
