Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
