OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
