"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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