we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
