i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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