Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
