A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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