Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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