I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize