C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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