i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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