Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
