no, he came in my armpit
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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