Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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