she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
