I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
