I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
