I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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