At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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